Thursday, 8 November 2012


It is hard to photo your own eye in close up. 

Recently, I have been experiencing a disturbing phenomenom.  Here's an example.  Our local library is accessed by a lift or stairs.  In the lift is a large mirror.  I get in the lift and see a harried, middle aged woman staring at me, huge under eye bags, birds nest hair in a straggly ponytail, wearing some rag bag collection of clothes topped off by a sensible waterproof jacket and a harassed expression.   "Oh crap"  I think with a sinking sense of dread, "Is that really me?"  It seems that only five minutes ago I was twenty, an art student, skinny and young.  Do I want to go back in time?  Well, not really.  Some things have improved with age....I like myself more, I think I have gained some acceptance of who I am.  I hope I am better dressed, certainly I am less paint spattered.  I am definitely a better listener and more considerate of others. I can speak up for myself.   I think I am less self-centred. (Don't laugh, I realise the irony of that sentence in a post with many "I"s in it)   I definitely have better boots and scarves.  I can manage my time and energy better. 

Last week I went out to eat in an Italian cafe with my family.  There were lots of mirrors.  I had thought I looked okay...a bit of concealer, mascara and lippy, I even remembered to use a hairbrush.  Then I glimpsed her again in one of the many mirrors...that crazy-haired washed out complexion woman.  I also realised my default expression is "worried".  Even if I am not worried, I look as if I am!  Maybe I need to try grinning like a maniac to counter the worried expression.  I have always been irritated by people saying  "Don't look so worried"  "I am not worried" I want to shout - "that's just my face!" 
Does anyone else avoid mirrors in cafes?
What am I going to do? Should I stop caring?
Still hard to photograph my own eye

 I have always been plagued by having dark pigment round my eyes, at school I would get told off for wearing eye make up when none was there.  Now I have dark lids and big big under eye shadows.  I hate them.  They are naturally part of me though.  They are exacerbated by the relentless early morning schedule of Little I and Rocket Girl.  I don't know if there is any wonder cream out there.  

Even before children a saleswoman told me that my eye circles were too dark for YSL's touche eclat.  So what do I do?  How do I convince myself to love my dark eyes? Any recommendations?

I have managed one step - I went and my hair cut and my fringe put back in so I can banish the straggly ponytail look.  I think the fringe is a thinking woman's alternative to botox. Seriously.  It hides those frown lines so well. 

Just to round up this vanity-related post, a work in progress glimpse to prove not all is doom and peering in mirrors here.  I have veered right off course from my planned Autumn sewing.   Blame it on finding this needlecord in the charity shop, only £2.50 and enough for a skirt for me and a skirt for Little I.  Yes people, it's mix n' match mother daughter dressing - the sort of thing my twenty year old self would have scoffed at! 


  1. I can totally relate. Sometimes those mirrors are evil, evil! And my default expression is not a happy one, I'm afraid. I think I always look vaguely repulsed or annoyed. But my big bugaboo is my grey hair. I have lots of it. :( Thanks for this post; it makes me feel less alone. :)

  2. I have a similar problem with dark eyelids and some baggage, I use a cream eyeshadow by MAC ( called Bare Study. It's a nude, goes on with a finger and instantly lifts the look of my eyes. I also tend to darken my brows, it helps to frame my eyes and, if I'm feeling adventurous I'll wear eyeliner. I find it makes a huge difference to the way I feel without taking ages to apply (5 mins, tops) and does make a difference to the way I look. Unfortunately, it can't help with my bitch face! I think we should make a badge that says something like 'don't mind me, this is just my resting face' and leave it at that! ;) x

  3. Maybe you should rename your post, Honesty, honesty! The bottom line is parenthood is exhausting, especially in the early days. Never found a cream to banish the dark circles, your options are probably wear as a badge of pride or wear more make up! Touché éclat type products don't cover, they bounce the light back off the skin to reduce the appearance of shadow (I once trained as a beauty therapist!) so they would be ideal and you can get cheaper versions now too. When going out I wear tinted moisturiser, one of those touché éclat type products and clinique powder and it seems to work. Tbh yours are not the worst I have seen. Btw great score with the cord. I would love a winter skirt in that fabric. You must have a good charity shop near you! X

  4. I am trying to avoid all mirrors at the moment :/ Love the needlecord you found! xx

  5. I'm familiar with this very phenomenon!

    Great fabric find, I love printed cord. I had a lucky bargain find today myself too with a skirt pattern.

  6. I just looked at my eyes carefully last night as one was itching and saw creases there just like my mum's which was a shock! Nearing 40 is a bit of an adventure...

  7. Oy vey, I know the feeling. I'm bouncing around at work, come in from the cold to use the restroom, catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and have a little freakout! My sister made mention of my crows' feet recently and I almost slapped her impulsively! Yikes!

    Dark circles are so unavoidable when you're sleep-deprived. I use a cheap concealer that doesn't do much, but the placebo effect makes me feel a little better. :)

  8. That woman is following me too... usually i can avoid her but in the toilets at work she always catches up with me...fortunately at work I have the self confidence to face her down...but if she ever shows uo in the mirrors at home i will be lost...!

    just broken out the hair dye to deal with "forty and fading"

  9. My favorite way to deal with looking tired is to use some blusher. Yeah I know, mid-twenties and no kids, but with surgery rotations starting at 7:15, what's a girl to do...? ;)
    The fabric is lovely, congrats on such a good score!